Dr Harlina, you did nothing wrong!

loading...

"What’s wrong is this Malaysian mentality that’s always quick to judge something at the surface value, – thus misunderstanding the real context, – and proceeding to shove their opinion down others’ throats."

Isu “awak” yang hangat kini di media sosial adalah suatu kes jurang komunikasi antara Gen-Y dengan mereka yang sebaya ibu ayah kita.

Kelihatan poyo pada anak muda apabila Dr Harlina meminta agar lebih elok dipanggil sebagai Puan atau Dr sahaja. Namun sudut yang sensasi dijadikan sebagai bahan untuk memviralkan isu ini lantas menjadi perbahasan yang hangat dalam kalangan netizen.

Saya bukan berhasrat untuk mencari siapa yang betul atau salah namun adalah lebih utama untuk kita memahami dan menilai implikasi jurang komunikasi ini dalam kalangan netizen seterusnya masyarakat.

Pertama, lebih mencari sensasi daripada kebenaran. Admin Amran Fans boleh memilih sama ada memanggil dengan panggilan Puan atau ringkas sahaja Dr. Malahan Dr Mahathir sendiri selepas meletakkan jawatan beliau sebagai Perdana Menteri dalam sesi medianya memberitahu wartawan, “Anda boleh memanggil saya Dato Seri tetapi Tun itu lebih pendek”. Apakah Tun poyo?

Kedua, yang kurek itu kundi yang merah itu saga. Yang baik itu budi, yang indah itu bahasa. Melayu mengingatkan kita tentang adab apabila berkomunikasi sesama kita. Baik pada yang tua mahupun yang muda. Bagaimana membahaskan diri kepada orang lain adalah suatu hal yang dititikberatkan. Apakah hari ini generasi Y sudah kehilangan nilai berbahasa?

Adakah hari ini generasi Y sudah kehilangan nilai berbahasa?
Yang tua kita hormati, yang muda kita kasihi. Dalam bahasa masyarakat Iban di Sarawak, nuan atau deq membawa maksud kau. Namun dalam penggunaan bahasa Iban rasmi dalam pendidikan, perkataan nuan digunakan bukannya perkataan deq. Kerana nuan itu membawa konotasi yang lebih sopan dan lembut.

Ketiga, memviralkan sesuatu isu atau menegur secara personal. Mana yang lebih baik? Dalam hal ini saya mungkin berbeza pendapatan dengan Dr Harlina Siraj. Sewajarnya Dr. Har membuat teguran secara personal kepada Admin. Demikian juga Admin Amran Fans tidak wajar mengangkat isu ini sehingga dibahaskan secara terbuka oleh para netizens dan followers anda.

Saya khuatir budaya memviralkan sikap pihak tertentu seperti ini menjadi budaya dalam masyarakat. Lalu mendatangkan onar yang menyaksikan pertentangan dua kelompok . Bukan meriahnya pertentangan dua kelompok yang kita hendak, sebaliknya jauh lebih utama ialah bagaimana masyarakat mampu dididik dengan baik, lembut dan sopan.

Al Quran juga berpesan kepada kita,

Serulah manusia ke jalan Tuhan-mu dengan hikmah dan pelajaran yang baik dan bantahlah mereka dengan cara yang baik. Sesungguhnya Tuhanmu Dialah yang lebih mengetahui tentang siapa yang tersesat dari jalan-Nya dan Dialah yang lebih mengetahui orang-orang yang mendapat petunjuk [An Nahl:125]
Konklusinya, media sosial bukanlah medan untuk mencari penyelesaian. Apabila kita mencari penyelesaian di medan terbuka ia hanya akan membawa kepada pelbagai lagi masalah yang lain. Buat Amran Fans dan Admin Jadilah Seperti Rashid, tiada salahnya jika anda meminta maaf pada yang lebih tua. Tindakan itu akan menampakkan sikap lapang dada dan meraih penghormatan buat generasi muda di mata mereka yang lebih tua daripada kita.


HOW VAIN OF HER!

Two days ago Dr. Harlina Halizah Siraj posted on her Facebook wall advising young entrepreneurs on the etiquettes of marketing. Within a day, the post went viral and attracted tons of reactions, – both good and bad.

The post touched on the issue of “language mannerisms” when dealing with customers. As an outsider to the medical world, I personally would have known nothing about Dr. Harlina if not for her post being shared around Facebook. Everywhere, I see more negative reactions instead of positive ones, – with people telling her to ‘suck it up’, – and a lot of people screaming at the top of their lungs (I imagined them doing it while tapping furiously on their phones at work) for Dr. Harlina to apologise and tone down her narcissistic attitude. Some even threw cuss words at her and cursed her entire family, – despite her post being absent of any ill word that might drive them to do so.

Even Amran Fans, a Malay-based community page addressed the issue in an absolutely impudent way. Without understanding the real context of Dr. Harlina’s post, he (I’m assuming the moderator is a male) boasted about having almost one million followers, and yet he doesn’t deem himself great, and how he’s not hungry for flatteries and adulation like she does. He also ‘advised’ her to widen her humility, just like her wide hijab. Fortunately, I’m not one to judge before knowing the full-story. After a full night of stalking various pages and Dr. Harlina’s herself, I got my answer; Dr. Harlina was right.

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE

Generally, I would say social media is a very relaxed platform for doing business. It’s normal to see sellers and buyers addressing each other as ‘sis’, ‘bro’, ‘awak’, ‘bang’, and other informal titles. It works because you can see their faces and names (generally). From there you can deduce their sex, age group and even personalities (ask the pros!), and come up with a title they’re most likely comfortable with.

Via text though, where no visuals or personal information are present, the safest bet is to keep it formal and professional unless the customer indicates otherwise. Dr. Harlina was right to advise the person to call her (and other future customers) ‘puan’, which stands for an aged lady, or a married woman in Bahasa. Calling an elderly lady ‘makcik’ might be accurate, but some might get offended due to the direct relation of the title to being old. Oh, how fragile human hearts are, and how complicated Bahasa is. Thus, the most polite way is to use formal titles like ‘Cik’ or ‘Puan’, or any other title provided by the customer (yes, this includes Dato’, Datin, Tan Sri, Dr., etc). Unless she herself tells you she’s more comfortable with whatever other titles there are, DO NOT ASSUME ANYTHING.

I’m sure we all are familiar on how specific Bahasa Malaysia can be. Even for the word ‘you’, there’s ‘kau’, ‘awak’, ‘kamu’ and ‘anda’. True enough, in formal settings, you wouldn’t send a resume to a potential employer addressing them with “awak”. If you want to argue in Dr. Harlina’s situation it doesn’t have to be formal, then just imagine a 20-year-old girl addressing a 50-year-old woman as ‘awak’. Stop right there! She’s not your friend, she’s old enough to be your mother. Have some respect!

I was once scolded for being rude simply because I said, “Hi Auntie, how are you doing?”

The Manglish-speaking Malay Auntie expected me to say, “Hi Auntie, how is Auntie doing?”

Trust me, as an English speaker, I was scratching my head for days trying to figure this one out.

Have you finally understood how rude and informal it is to use ‘awak’ or ‘kamu’ towards the elderly, or in formal situations now?

If you still don’t get it, you should no longer wonder why you have trouble scoring a job interview.

APOLOGIES WERE MADE

Today, Dr. Harlina posted an apology on her Facebook wall (and guess what? People are still bashing her left and right). She explained that it wasn’t her intention to sound conceited nor boastful of her status in her previous post. She was advising the entrepreneurs to mind their language when dealing with consumers at large, not forget their “Pleases” and “Thank yous”, and always double check before they hit ‘SEND’. By using her own title, Dr. Harlina was merely providing an example of how formal titles should always be in use during consultation or closing deals. She absolutely did not mean for the entrepreneur to address specifically her by the title. I am glad Dr. Harlina didn’t surrender to the social media bullying and deleted her original post. If she had done so, it would seem like a proof to the gullible that she is at fault. It’s also a relief to see some positive posts supporting and defending her cause, while not knowing her personally.



Being a veteran in her line of work, I’m convinced Dr. Harlina has a whole lot of experience dealing with all sorts of people; hence I believe she is certainly not that daft to raise the issue only for her own good. In fact Dr. Harlina went to great lengths brushing over her text messages to hide details regarding the company (to the point we don’t even know what type of company they are, or what products or services they provide), if she is the power-hungry bimbo like people made her out to be, she wouldn’t have given a single thought about confidentiality!

WHAT’S WRONG WITH MALAYSIANS’ MENTALITY?

I applaud Dr. Harlina for being humble and apologizing to the mass, but it is NOT NEEDED. She is not in the wrong. What’s wrong is this Malaysian mentality that’s always quick to judge something at the surface value, – thus misunderstanding the real context, – and proceeding to shove their opinion down others’ throats. When you receive a gift in a box, don’t you open it to see what’s inside? You never, ever trample over it without a single thought. In this case, it’s the same. Dr. Harlina is clearly misunderstood as vain, – obnoxious and obsessed with her title, – all because the majority of us refused to look at the issue with an open mind and a bit of intelligence (or maybe some are incapable of it, I’m not sure anymore).

My outrage goes to the people who took it as far as insulting her and her family, making fun of her experiences, and the continuous mockery even after apologies were made and explanation was provided. For instance, the assault from Amran Fans didn’t stop there, he went on to the comments section making fun of Dr. Harlina (while being misinformed, nonetheless!) by sarcastically asking people to be mindful when commenting due to his status as someone who has near one million followers.

It’s us Malaysians who need to stop the critical ‘kutuk everything’ attitude, and evaluate an issue at a deeper level. In a simpler sentence for some of you: work your brain a little harder.

We are in the wrong, not Dr. Harlina.



#WeAreWithDrHarlina

#feelingembarrassedwithmycommunity

#whatanoutrage

Tweet

loading...